Dhaai kilo ka haath is back!

Sunny paaji plays the role of Brad Pitt's Mickey the Pikey as Munna in this liftoff of Snatch. Well, I just gave away the whole story for Fool n Final didnt I?? Now let me tell you what the rest of the characters match up to:

Turkish - Vivek Oberoi as Lucky
Tommy - Suresh Menon as (doesn't matter)
Boris the Blade - Arbaaz Khan as Moscow Chikna
Bricktop - Zakir Hussain as JD
Doug the Head - Asrani as Lalwani
Cousin Avi - Gulshan Grover as Chowksey
Franky Four Fingers - Chunky Pandey as Rocky
Bullet Tooth Tony - Jackie Shroff as GunMaster G9 (with apologies to the original Gun Master, Prabhuji Mithun Chakraborty)
Vinny - Shahid Kapoor as Raja
Tyrone - Johnny Lever as Malbari (sab ke uupar bhari)
Sol - Paresh Rawal as Chatur Chobey

There is no Sausage Charlie, no 2 gorgeous daughters of Doug the Head and JD does not have a pig farm like Bricktop. Instead we have Om Puri and Sharmila Tagore playing inconsequential roles (in retrospect, Sharmila actually portrays Mickey's periwinkle-blue-caravan-loving Ma). Doug the head is Sindhi and cousin Avi is Gujrati. Doug is in Dubai and Avi in London. The whole story takes place in Dubai. I almost forgot to mention Sameera Reddy and Ayesha Takia who make up the eye-candy female presence. Ayesha Takia also gives Shahid Kapoor a reason to bust some moves in song and dance routines.

Bullet tooth tony is Jackie Shroff as GunMaster G9. Gunmaster comes with excess baggage (under his eyes). Chowksey does not get a chance to return to London and is killed. While dying he utters his favorite line 'Bahu Saras' which reminds of Gulshan's similar act in Diljale where he dies wondering 'Uupar gol-gappe kaise khaoo?' Sunny Deol is back with his trademark line 'Ye Dhaai kilo ka haath jab kisipe padta hai na, to aadmi uthta nahi hai .. uth jaata hai'. One might have expected that 14 years from Damini, paaji must have pumped more iron and gone on to 3.5 kilos. Paaji disappoints. Atleast with the dialogues.

The storyline moves on similar to Snatch. Diamond heist, lots of people trying to lay their hands on the diamond, illegal fighting matches, etc etc. Nothing much to write home about this movie. Watch it if you want to experience how Bollywood can smash an original film to pulp.

Later!

For kicks and giggles, I checked out movie reviews for this movie on some other websites. Surprisingly, no one seems to mention its likeness to Snatch. Admittedly this movie is very confusing to understand with so many parallel stories going around but that wasnt the case with Snatch. Either that or I can digest really horrible cinema quite comfortably =))

To buy or not to buy

Its been just over 2 months that my car has been paid off and now I dont seem to enjoy it as much as I would want to. The RSX has provided me immense driving satisfaction with its 5 speed manual but suddenly the 2.0L I4 155HP engine is too small for me, does not give me adequate acceleration and is no fun to drive. So here I am on the verge of being sucked back into a consumer loan, considering my choices trying to find which car would give me the best bang for my buck.

When I bought my car last year, I had no time to look around, test drive cars and gloat over my options. My '91 Mazda Protege died on me one fine Thursday evening in Michigan. The closest auto mall was in Troy and that was closed on weekends so I had only the day of Friday to buy a new car! I set out at 11 am after listening to a tirade from my PM on how he couldnt afford for me to take a day off given how tight the deadlines were and how he wanted me to compensate for this time by putting in some work on the weekend. Pucking SOB! Why the hell was I told that the project was in Pontiac and then made to travel 60 miles one way from Rochester Hills all the way into downtown Ann Arbor when I agreed to jump on to this?! My poor grad student car could not handle the onslaught and it broke down within a months time. It was absolutely stupid of me to spend $900 on repairs hoping that these would keep the car going for the next few months atleast. When I say stupid I mean *really* stupid considering that I had bought the car over a year and a half back for $850! It took all of 5 days for the car to break down once again and this time the only option left for me was to buy a new car after the local Midas gave me an estimate of $750 on the new repairs.

So with herd desi mentality I set out to buy a Hindu Accord. Certified Pre-Owned seemed a good bet since I was in no mood to spend any money on repairs on old cars and I did not have the gut to splurge on a new car. I was thinking maybe if I bought an Accord coupe it would set me atleast a little bit apart from your everyday sedan driving desi. To my luck, I did not find a single coupe within my meagre budget. Even if I was willing to spend a little further, apparently Honda Finance had some idiotic restrictions where they needed me to be a resident of the state atleast for the last year, provide complete documentation about my employment with paytsubs for the last 3 months and have a valid Michigan driver's license. Given the frequency at which I was hopping states that time, I had a Ohio driver's license, Illinois licence plates and auto insurance in Michigan. I did not have complete employment documentation since my visa was being transferred to the new employer and I did not have any paystubs from the new employer 'cos it had not been paytime yet. So the not-so-friendly guys at the Honda dealers refused to process my credit application and I left for the Toyota dealers next door.

No matter how much I hate the vanilla look on Toyota's I consoled myself saying atleast I would save some money on gas. I dont know what I was thinking when I was hoping to find a CPO Corolla or Camry. No one returns a Toyota! Those are for keeps! The only available CPO vehicle was a RAV 4 which I wasnt quite impressed with. Dejected, I walked into the Acura store across the street just for kicks to find what price range they were selling for. It was plain good fortune that they had this RSX available at just around the price I was willing to pay at that time. I took the car for a short spin. Happy with the deal I was getting (more happy that atleast I was getting something to drive around) I quickly signed up to buy the car. So glad I did. At 4 pm I was out with the new car and that has to be the most expensive thing I've bought within such less time. 14 months later, the car is mine and 2 more months later today I am looking to upgrade.

Upgrading from an Acura is a tough choice. Clearly, when I upgrade for performance and driving pleasure, it has to be something with a manual transmission. Auto trannys and huge powerful engines just dont gel well at all. The BMW 3 series is what comes to mind immediately given this scenario and the 3.0L I6 300HP looks like a clear winner. But the price tag hurts! For a similar price, if not less, another option is the Infiniti G35. 3.5L V6 306HP. Impressive. The Infiniti also comes with a ton of gizmos and gadgets (and its not quite as clunky as the Audi's). It has much more spacious and luxurious interiors. The Lexus IS 350 is a top notch performer but no available manual transmission. Ditto for the Lexus SC 430 (for $65k!! Daim!). But a bimmer is a bimmer is a bimmer and nothing compares.

Ofcourse given the price range I am looking at I could easily get a SUV. Heck the Infiiniti FX45's start at $37k. But I am not a fan of big cars. For zipping past quickly, the smaller the better. If my RSX came with an engine twice its current size and they shrunk the cars dimensions further I would still love it. Again, by desi standards once (whenever) I get married I will have to buy a SUV/minivan. Like someone rightly said, 'buy your toys before marriage' I am now eagerly hunting around for the best driving experience my money can buy. Lets see if/when this search culminates.

Times like these

It's times like these, you learn to live again. Word.

Whoever thought of casting Tanushree Dutta in a lead role should be made to spend some time as a cell mate of inmate # 9818783. While 9818783 mulls over her past life, tries to stop acting dumb because its not cute anymore and thinks hard over what she can do to make the world a better place, she could possibly suggest Mr Sinha that limiting Tanushree's visage to brief appearances a la Hithcki or Signaal would be one step closer to a happier place we live in. No seriously. Watching Tanushree for over 2 hours couldnt be worse than spending time in the joint (with Paris, nonetheless).

Raqeeb is a movie where the leading lady manipulates the men in her life to get what she wants. The plot opens with Remo Mathews (Rahul Khanna) as an asthmatic who runs a large software company (what else) with Siddharth (Sharman Joshi) as his legal advisor and friend. Siddharth is quite the outgoing kind and is always pestering Remo to socialize and make the most of his life. In this quest, he sets Remo up on a date with Sophie (Tanushree Dutta). Few melodramatic filmy moments later, Sophie and Remo are married.

Marital bliss doesnt last too long for Sophie who runs into her ex-lover Sunny (Jimmy Shergill), a struggling actor. Sophie spurs Sunny on to killing Remo assuring him that they would lead a comfortable life ever after. Sophie has plans though. She double crosses Sunny and he lands up in jail. Then on we learn that it is not quite the lady who is manipulative, a greater devil lurks with a bigger plan and a verry filmy motive behind it all. In the battle of good against evil, evil loses once again and you are much too happy to see the closing credits.

To give credit to debutante director Anurag Sinha, the movie manages to hold your interest for the most part, though at times especially in the first half, it gets painfully slow. There are a lot of twists and turns all the way to a much expected ending. Rahul Khanna still needs some effort in the facial expressions department and a lot more in dialogue delivery. Jimmy Shergill looks horrendous in his long locks and doesnt do any justice to his role. Sharman Joshi delivers another stellar performance. Ms Dutta sure could use a stylist; a facemask would be a better alternative in the meantime. Support cast is passable with Vivek Shauq providing some titbits of comic relief.

Overall, not much of a recommendation, but worth watching if you have nothing better to do.

Post Title : Foo Fighters - Times Like These

Jeans

How much are you willing to pay for a pair of your favorite denims? If I were in India, I'd say probably somewhere in the Rs 1200 - 1500 range. Here, it could be around the $50 mark. But if you check whats hap' these days, paying $50 for a pair of jeans is so passé . Take a look around in your local mall and you will be shocked to find the kind of prices denims sell for today.

Whatever happened to the ubiquitous Levi's you ask? Gone are the days when your favorite denims were Levi's, no one's wearing them anymore! Designer denims are the only denims to be seen in these days. Ofcourse this is not a new thing, blame Seven for all Mankind for starting the trend circa 2000. Although the name proclaims 'for all Mankind' it is a gross misnomer for more reasons than one. For one they started off with jeans only for women and then if all mankind were to strut around in your jeans Sire, wouldn't you want to make them affordable? While your everyday average pair of denims sell for anywhere around $30, a pair of Seven costs atleast 4 times as much. Surprised? Well, thats the price you pay for contemporary casual fashion! What started off catering towards the red carpet/high brow crowd has now crept into everyday office and on any given Friday you could find a lot of your peers sporting Seven, Citizens of Humanity, True Religion and the likes. I, for one, cannot bring myself to buying a $100 pair when something for half the price looks and lasts as good, if not better. I mean they are denims, people. They last and last and last until you get bored seeing the same pair or you grow past the waist size. There's gotta be a better way to spend all that dough.

Last weekend I took my parents to the mall closeby and while walking around in Nordstrom, mom liked the color on a pair of denims. What she forgot was we were in Nordstrom and then she was absolutely clueless about the price tags on designer denims. As luck would have it, she had picked up a Diesel and I had to give her a quick update on all things Nordstrom. Setting the jeans aside I took a quick look at the price tag, they were selling at $280!

Sex, Relationships and Urban Public Transport

Life in a Metro - Movie Review

The first few minutes of this movie you could be easily fooled into believing that extra-marital promiscuity for the sake of career advancement is the order of the day in suburban India and thats what the movie could be all about. But dont let the comedic phone conversations between Rahul (Sharman Joshi) and some of his senior co-workers fool you into this verdict so soon. The plot weaves intricately in and out of the lives of a handful of inter-connected couples bringing forth shades of reality that is Life in a Metro.

Rahul is a call centre employee who in his own words '15 hajaar kamaane ke liye 15 hajaar Americans ki gaaliya sunta hoo'. He is set on making it big in life and is willing to go all lengths to win the favor of his managers to rise through the ranks. One approach he uses to do this is to allow his seniors access to his apartment to make merry with their colleagues while he roams the streets in the middle of the night waiting for them to 'come out' (pun intended). His neighbors, in the meanwhile, are in awe of his sexual prowess, screamers keeping them awake late in the night. Rahul secretly admires his colleague Neha (Kangana Ranaut) who is sleeping with her boss Ranjeet (Kay Kay Menon). Ranjeet is married to Shikha (Shilpa Shetty) and they are at complete loggerheads, living a life of compromise for the sake of their 6 yr old daughter. Familial ties do not however stop Ranjeet from having a no strings attached, physical only relation with Neha in turn for granting her out of turn promotions and perks.

Shikha's sister Shruti (Konkona Sen) is a 30 yr old virgin, waiting desperately for the right one. She manages to meet a few off marriage portals but rejects each one for not being her type. Debu (Irrfan Khan) is one such reject whom she ends up working with and falling in love towards the end of the movie. Neha and Shruti are roommates and somewhere down the line Shruti finds out that Ranjeet is cheating on her sister. In the ensuing scene, Ranjeet asks to be forgiven for his liasons with Neha but turns the other way round when Shikha asks to be forgiven for her short fling with Akash (Shiney Ahuja), a struggling theatre actor whom she meets once a week while on her way to visiting her dance teacher Shivani (Nafisa Ali).

Along parallel tracks there is a love story between Amol (Dharmendra) and Shivani, Amol back to spend the last few years of his life with his true love. In all filmy glory, Shivani dies before Amol and you are left wondering why the hell this part of the story was roped in in the first place. There is also an unnecessary gay association in the movie where Shruti is fooled to believe that the man whom she swoons for also likes her but in reality the whole relation is an act to cover his gayness in front of his parents. Shruti later goes on to realise (I dont know how) that she is in love with Debu and Debu has to chase her on a horse all the way to the train station right out of his baraat to mend her broken heart. Neha realises that sleeping with Ranjeet can only get her so far and that is not what she wants in life right now. She jumps out of the car while traveling with Ranjeet and heads straight to find Rahul. Rahul is about to leave the city dejected for no love when he is runout just short of the crease train station by Kangana Run-out. In the end, all (alive) find what they want in life.

Kay Kay Menon's portrayal of the remorseless MCP is first rate while Shilpa not latching onto the lust train sounds a little too sati-savitri. Shiney Ahuja plays the loser once again. Irrfan Khan has been given some good dialogues and he makes a competent performance as a lecherous 38 year old. Konkona Sen dilly dallies between the man of her dreams and the man unknowingly present in her life. Kangana Ranaut manages to look beautiful but lacks 'dimensions' and one can only pity Kay Kay's character to cheat on the bodacious Shilpa for a fling with Kangana. Sharman Joshi plays the ambitious lad quite convincingly and has clearly come a long way since his Style and Excuse Me days. The rest are trivial additions to the lineup.

The most irritating part of the movie is when 3 unkempt, dishevelled singers break into a song. While the songs are appropriately placed, have meaningful lyrics and carry the movie forward, looking at the same 3 people over and over again kinda makes you wish you had a squiggly line in your eye. All said and done, the movie is definitely worth a watch, although you come out hoping this is not what life in a metro is truly becoming in the motherland.

Post Title : Sex, Lies and Videotape

Is it just me ...

... or is little Ms Kapoor looking a lot like little Ms Hilton in these snaps?

Taken from her latest flick: Kya Love Story Hai