Modern Day Chakravyuha

Many moons ago Abhimanyu was slain fighting his way out of the famed chakravyuha. The story has it that Abhimanyu had the knowledge of breaking into this formation but did not know the way to get out. In a valiant attempt, he laid his life fighting against all odds. Some of us desis living in America today seem to be caught in an identical situation. Although there are no warriors to slay, there is a vicious circle to break out of.

For the last many years, getting into America has been relatively easy. Young graduates rush into the country as soon as they complete their bachelors back home, on the premise of gaining higher education. Premise is a misleading word because many go on to complete their Masters/PhD's and then on to snatch lucrative jobs. This is the part where a desi is knowingly/unknowingly fighting his way into the chakravyuha. The way in is easy, for unlike the chakravyuha, this has been tread by scores of desis before. To get to this point, the best efforts come merely in the form of emulation.

Education completed, job in hand, desi parents get eager to see their offspring settled down (read married). At the risk of invoking the ire of the feminists, I will continue to write this from a guy's perspective hereon. Desi guy marries someone from the des or someone who is here and made it through the chakravyuha quite like him. First few years pass on comfortably and then the oft overlooked thought of returning to the homeland takes centre-stage. This is the point where our Abhimanyu wants to get the hell outta this place and does not have a clue on how to break free. Now the biggest question playing on his mind is, what is a good time to return? Like someone has said, it takes a successful man to know when to stop. Although desis are successful generally, I dont think they know when to stop and that's where they have to resort to survival tactics (err ... sachin, saurav, kapil dev, gavaskar, dev anand, amitabh, himesh :P ... quite a long list really).

For reasons yet unknown to me, a lot of people tend to think that when their savings exceed the $100k mark, is where the sweet median lies. In other times, 100k would've been a good strategery. Alas, the dollar keeps slipping and the rupee continues to get stronger by the day. What would you get for $100k today? Somewhere around Rs 40 lakh. Is that enough? Yes and no. The whole scenario depends on how well you have the setup back home. For most people it takes quite some time to get to that monetary level and a lot of American 'values' get deeply ingrained into the system. If you are some such, the first thing you would want is a house of your own (if you dont have enough privacy in your parental house and/or if you mind living with your parents). House-hunting is no piece of cake (and for 40 lakhs all you might really get IS a piece of cake). Realistically looking at the rate the value of real estate is booming in any big city, you would be a fool if you are hoping to buy a decent sized house with that kind of money. Consider the fact that you've been thinking of moving back for a while and with this plan in mind have never bought a 'house' house in the US. You would really want to buy a house in India then and not a condo (which are relatively easier to buy). This is when the desi realises that 100k aint worth jack.

Lets now look at the other side of the equation, the getting to $100k part. On an average, lets say a desi would probably make $80k a year. With household expenses, etc he can hope to save at the most $2k per month. At this rate it would take him atleast 4 years to get to this mark (unless ofcourse you work in Google, sell off some stocks and bang! there's a 100k). All of this is hypothetically speaking, that no other expenses occur at all during these 4 years (which is as impossible as Sehwag scoring runs these days). Now with a working wife things can get a lot faster, but the more money that flows in, your expenses remain proportionate. With so much cash flowing in, I dont see why anyone would'nt be tempted to trade in his Hindu Accord for a smashing new Merc and the wifey's Odyssey for a X5. Point is, money tends to flow out easily in this consumer driven market and it takes quite a while to reach whatever point in the bank balance you feel is good enough.

Say you dont want to move back home and you decide to buy a house here with all the money coming in. Good luck with that if you're living in a big city. Where I live right now, in San Diego, million dollar homes are everyday ordinary and for about $600k you might get a matchbox sized home. Lets assume you are foolhardy enough and decide to buy, you put the 10% down and the mortgage is easily around $5k monthly. Scary enough if either of the working duo quits/loses the job.

Now by the time you get to this point (let's say 4 years from marriage), you probably already have the green card, have a kid or two, have everything going on smoothly professionally as well as personally and there is no real motivation in throwing off everything that you've done so far and going back home just because the motherland beckons. You'd be hella lucky if you have a supportive spouse, but in some cases the ease of daily life here is too much to give up on and even if you are willing, your dear (now) old spouse might refuse to co-operate. Now you're stuck spinning wheels, contemplating what it would take to get out of this ever confusing chakravyuha and get back to the one place you would rightfully want to call home.

Inspired by a weekend phone conversation & countless thoughts thereafter