Time waits for none. Another day, another year. Time lost, age gained. Everything else is stagnant. I don't know what I am looking for. Objectively I should be happy with the way things are. I lead a normal life, pretty much like average Joe. Work, play, have fun. Something is still missing. I don't know what it is. Or maybe I know what it is but I don't want to own up to it. It could be because I know what I want and I know I don't stand a chance of getting it. Why does it hurt so much to know that the one thing you always wanted is the one thing you can never have? Why do I still feel compelled to put up a brave front inspite of being on the losing end? Is anyone even winning? Would success taste sweet if I get it now or would I throw it all away? Who is at a loss if I don't get past these daemons? How long should I fight for lost causes?
Am I doubting myself? Never. Am I questioning the futility of this whole exercise? Most possibly. I can't tell, I don't want to tell. Whatever happened to the fun guy inside me? Did he grow old too? Or did he just leave town for a while?
I'm confused. Is this my Quarter Life Crisis?
I feel like destroying something beautiful.
Post Title: Alanis Morissette - So Called Chaos
