More appropriately the question should be what New York couples talk about. I'm not too concerned about the Yankees. What I'm interested in finding out is what do couples talk about, whether they're in New York or New Zealand or New Orleans or Navi Mumbai.
A friend of mine recently got engaged. To her luck, it is an arranged marriage. Now that they're engaged the couple is in the 'happy' courtship period. To begin with, I am not so comfortable with the way arranged marriages happen. You get to meet each other once or twice and then decide within the short time whether or not the other person is a good fit for a life partner. When you think you've got it right, you get engaged and then there's some time before you wed. What if during this time you find out that your partner is exactly what you were hoping s/he would not be? What if you failed to read the signs in those 2 meetings before you said yes? How long does it take before you can actually interpret all those signs in the right manner? Is there a way out once you realise what a schmuck you've committed yourself to? But I digress. Enough with my own insecurities and on to the story of the couple.
So it happens that both work the long hours and catch up in the evenings daily. Both hardly know each other and so it seems like there would be lots to catch up on and that they would not have enough time to know each other despite the long courtship period. Its been about a month now and it all seemed to be going well. Almost. As it turns out, her fiance, like most men is pretty reticent. I mean thats how its always been, right? Women talk talk talk and talk and men (pretend to) listen. But we have a new problem here when women expect men to talk. We can'd do that! We just aren't conditioned to do that! What do you think spawned that joke about the mothertongue? It's called the mothertongue because the father never gets to use it. Huh? Or that other joke? Why do you think that when guys talk on the phone the conversation is over in 30 seconds flat and when girls talk you wonder if you need a calendar and not a clock? Not saying that we can't hold conversations but its just natural that after some time of listening to the woman talk and trying to keep her interested in keeping the conversation going we deserve a period of silence. My friend does not subscribe to this school of thought. It was getting increasingly difficult for her with each passing day to meet every evening and do the bulk of the talking. Meeting up everyday after working till late left her little time for herself and to get her stuff done. To add to her woes, if she tried to bail out on one day, they would end up giving each other a piece of their mind the next time they met. All of this, during the courtship period. Things certainly weren't going pilaan ke mutaabik =))
Without playing the blame game let's try to realistically assess the situation. Guy is eager to make the most of the courtship period and get to know the girl but does not have the gift of gab. Girl is (naturally) glib and is also eager to know more about the guy. However girl keeps facing intermittent road blocks when she has to come up with topics to speak on every-frikking-day. I guess the guy can be blamed partially in this case but such a judgement begs more questions than answer the existing ones.
So how important is it to keep on talking throughout the evening? Is it really necessary to exercise the vocal chords in full blast all the time? Can't we have some moments of peace? Whatever happened to 'har baat lafjon mein bayaan karne ki jaroorat nahi hoti hai'? No? Not anymore? I know it takes the fun out of meeting up if you're not going to talk much, but what if you realise that you are committed to someone whom you cannot talk to for more than 2 minutes? I know, I know, my insecurities are coming in to play once again here, but spare a thought for this situation. What in hell do you do then? Alright, lets say you somehow manage to get through all of this and get married. What happens when the both of you come home after work and have nothing to talk about? Worse yet - wife stays home, husband comes home after a long day and wife starts nagging. Such an exciting prospect, innit?
Right now the way things are for most of my friends and I, we dont have a lot going on. There's nothing new or exciting happening any given day and we are pretty much slaves to the routine. Whenever I have conversations with my friends, all of us dread the 'aur kya' type questions. There IS no 'aur'! If things stay the same what do we talk about when we get home? Funny questions all, pertinent nevertheless. I guess I'll have to wait my turn to find how things pan out.
Post Title: Morcheeba - What New York couples fight about
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