No Regrets

Alrite y'all. This is an inspired piece of writing after reading this post and listening to one of my favorite songs (although the title comes from another favorite song). I have tried to keep my writing as original as I can but some similarities are bound to occur since this is after all, well, 'inspired'. It is also my first attempt at writing a short fictional story with some mix of emotions. I would not be surprised, however, if this post does not come out as good as the original one. When it comes to emotions and sentiments, I am much like Chandler Bing, "I'm not good with that part. Could I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" Anyways, enough with the background already. Here goes:

*DISCLAIMER* --- All characters in my story are fictional and any koinkydinkys are entirely coincidental. This post has been written with the sole intent of exercising my fingers so please do not try to associate and/or read between the lines.

Late November, it was a wintry afternoon in O'Hare. Akash was all excited, eagerly waiting to board his next flight to London, on his way back home to Mumbai. He had already travelled a long way on his LAX-CHI direct and was now beginning to get edgy as the weather showed no signs of clearing up. He was pacing nervously around the flight information screen waiting to find the updated time of his flight. Few minutes and he was utterly frustrated to find that his flight had been delayed by 4 hours. With nothing better to do he decided to hit the Starbucks in the terminal, connect to his office network and finalise that proposal he had been working on. Somehow he had managed to get a longer vacation with the understanding that he would be reachable even while in India and that he was still billable on all his current projects. A long vacation was the call of the hour, this was no ordinary vacation. He was heading home to get married.

Strolling on to find the Starbucks he stood in line to get a fix of his favorite. In one corner, someone sitting sideways reading up on a book, caught his eye. She sure looked familiar. Could she be Priya? No way, he told himself. He knew Priya was on her way to Austin the very same day, flying out from New York. Curiosity got the better of him and he walked that way after grabbing his mocha, and sure enough, Priya she was! He greeted her with a warm hug and both were all smiles. 'Wha .. how come you're here? Shouldn't you be on your flight to Austin?' said Akash, after he got over his initial surprise. 'Yes, thank the weather. We had to make an unscheduled stop out of our way because of the bad weather. I still have a few more hours before we get back on.' 'So we do meet after all. The irony. We made so many plans of meeting up, none of them materialised over all these years and the weather gods decide to play their part'. 'Indeed' she smiled.

'Wow, though! You haven't changed a bit. How long has it been since we saw each other, 7 years?!' 'Yes', she said with a mischievous grin on her face , ' I wish I could say the same about you'. 'I know I'm not quite the guy you knew from college anymore. Hey you're seeing me 7 years and 45 lbs later. I'm a Complan boy!' and both broke off into a hearty laugh. At the crux, no one had really changed. Both were still the same, always looking for a chance to pull each other's leg and have a good laugh. They had been through 4 years of engineering school together. Always in the same group, hanging out together, studying, partying, living each day of their lives in each others company enjoying it all. Everyone thought they were the perfect couple, in their minds, they were nothing more than very good friends. Akash went on to complete his Masters and Priya was working with some company after they graduated. Throughout they never lost touch with each other, emailing, calling, doing whatever to fill in on the latest. Since the last 3 years Priya had been onsite. Their grandiose plans to meetup along with their friends never saw the day of light with someone or the other always bailing out at the last minute. After their last plans for Denver had flopped no one ever bothered to come up with suggestions and these good friends of yesteryears were left with the only option of electronic communication, although they were in the same country, coasts apart.

'So, how are you feeling? All excited about the wedding? Everyone at home must be so busy running around with the last minute preparations, isn't it?'. 'Yeah, I wish I could have managed to get more of a vacation, but you know how hard it is even to get 3 weeks off work.' 'Yes, I know. It is quite the same for all of us. I am worried about my next trip back home. I'm sure my parents won't let me return without atleast getting engaged to someone', she chuckled. Then they went on with a long winding discussion about how almost all of the people they knew were married by now, some even having kids already.

'Priya, can I tell you something?' 'Ofcourse you can! Have you ever Not told me anything?!', she asked with a puzzled look on her face. Akash barely managed a wry smile and said, 'Thanks for always being there for me Priya'. 'What is this about, Akash?' Priya sensed there was much more to this and was preparing herself for this unusual outburst of emotions from Akash. Did she really know Akash after all these years? She had never ever known Akash to get sentimental. 'Priya, I don't know if I should be saying all this, I dont know if this is the best time to be talking about but this is something I've always wanted to tell you. This was something I could never discuss on the phone and now that we're here ...' 'I'm listening', Priya grew serious.

'I still don't know why you said No'. Over the years, Akash had fallen in love with Priya without quite realizing it. He realized how he had been taking her for granted all along in college and how badly he missed her every single day of his life. Ofcourse, he had no time for misery, with classes and work keeping him busy beyond belief during his Masters but every now and then in a reflective moment Akash thought about Priya. He had promised himself that he would pop the question at the first opportunity he got after he was self sufficient with a good job on hand and a stable life. A good job was not on the horizon immediately for Akash but he was working his way up. Few months down the line, Akash thought this was a good time, he picked up the phone to reach Priya and spoke of his intentions. Priya took her time and refused, telling Akash she never thought of him as more than a friend and said it was best to let things remain. 'Did you ever think about us after that time?' Akash quizzed, 'Did you ever wonder 'what we could've been, if you'd only let me in?' 'Akash ..', Priya quivered, 'I'd told you I was sorry .''Don't be', Akash interrupted, ' you know, I thought about it and you are not to blame'

'If anything, I should be thanking you for understanding me. You know Priya, those were hard times for me. Later that month, I lost my job. I did not sit down and cry. I fought with intent and within a week I was on my next job. Your refusal spurred me on. You always knew me as a brash, slaphappy kid, never serious about anything, always living his life easily taking each day as it comes. I cannot blame you if you did not want to spend your life with me knowing me the way I was back in college. But I wasnt the same Priya, I had changed and you did not know. I had gone through a lot after I came here. When I got my first paycheque after doing the dishes in the cafeteria all week long, I realized the value of hard earned money. I worked hard, studied with a new found purpose. I realized I had fallen for you but I could not do anything about it until I had some sort of a respectable job. Looking back, I might've rushed into proposing having completed barely a year on the job. I had nothing to prove my case that I had changed. All I ever wanted was to spend my life with you and I thought that it was already late since your parents were looking out for you. I jumped the gun and I lost my chance.'

Priya would've never known so much was behind that thank you; and yet much more to come. Akash continued, ' But you know, I owed it to myself to ask that question. Remember, back in college I had asked Amrita? I did not know what I was doing back then. But with you it was different. When I asked you I knew what I wanted in life and I was on track for achieving it with everything going on for me. After I'd broken off with Amrita I'd never thought I could ever gather enough courage again to put myself out there. Once bitten, twice shy you know. But when I'd been stupid enough to do that when I had no clue, I knew I could not live with myself had I not asked you.We were best friends, we always got along so well. I would've never gone out on a limb and proposed if I had the slightest inkling that you never once felt the way I did. But like I said, you might have thought twice because you knew me as the Akash from college. I wouldnt blame you had you based your decision on that. You never knew what I had gone through after college and you never bothered to find out and give me a chance. In the end I had no regrets for having popped the question although I got rejected. I owed it onto me and I did what felt right at that time. I am happy that I found out it wasn't to be but I still can't figure out what led you to think that way. What matters more to me is that you are just a phone call away whenever I need you and I want to thank you for that. Promise me one thing, if you can - always stay the same.'

Akash looked into her eyes and it was Priya's turn to speak. '... I ... I don't know .. I don't know what to say. Quite frankly, I am stunned. You were right, you should'nt have opened up this can of worms. Sometimes I wondered too ... ' ' Boarding business class for BA-0652 to London', Priya was cut short by a crackling voice on the PA system. 'Ohh! For Goodness, thats my flight. About time!' Akash beamed 'Well, I guess that's about it. It was so nice catching up after all these years, time just flew by. Thanks once again for letting me speak my heart out. I don't know where I would be without a friend like you'.

Akash bid a hasty goodbye and boarded his flight to live the rest of his life in denial. As she watched Akash walk by, Priya wondered if she would ever be able to claim that her life had been without any regrets, and a tear rolled down her cheek ...

Post Title : Robbie Williams - No Regrets